Hey, I am all down for sitting on the couch or porch in 2-day old pajama bottoms and optional bra stuffing my face with yummy ice cream by the gallon. Been there, done that! Oh but if only that gallon was full of magic that made all your worries go away and you felt empowered and amazing.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t. I checked.
And truth be told, is this really the ‘self-care’ we want to practice? I’m voting no on this one.
Self-care - while it can have many definitions for different people - I believe that it is taking care of the needs of your body, mind, and soul to make you feel empowered and amazing. Self Care does not necessarily equate to overindulgence, poor choices, and maxing out your credit card. Self-care is unapologetically finding practices that truly fulfill your body, mind, and soul. Read that again.
Unapologetically finding the thing that fills your body, mind, and soul.
I personally have found peace and solace in some of the most simplistic things. I think it’s so important to note that self-care doesn’t have to be expensive, does not require a passport, it’s not the same for everyone and you should never feel guilty about it.
Here is my list of ways to practice self-help:
Aromatherapy -As an essential oil educator, I know for sure this is definitely the easiest and fastest way to relax, focus, energize, or even to pray. Oils have proprietary benefits - but I call it magic- that work to help alter and balance our mood. Add oils to your diffuser, your bath or heck just inhale out of the bottle but tap into the natural power of oils for all things self love.
Yoga - And I mean the easy, slow kind. I don’t like to sweat and I am just not wired to be motivated for strenuous exercise. Sorry, but not sorry. However, I totally embrace the mantra of your body is your temple and when we don’t take care of it, we suffer on many levels. As a woman, a mom, an entrepreneur, we just can’t afford a day down for health reasons. So while it is exercise and that is necessary, I find that gentle, slow flow yoga really helps me treat myself to self-care and it’s doing something good for my body. Slow, long stretches have many benefits, and the classes I have found incorporate positive affirmations, sound baths, aromatherapy so it makes that one hour feel like a true spa experience. No experience needed and the kids can wait to eat till you get back. I promise, they can.
Burning Sage for smudging - Ok, so I might be channeling some forest goddess vibes with this one, but oh my gosh, I love it! Burning sage is a powerful ritual that has its roots in Native American tradition. Today, people burn sage and other holy herbs to cleanse a space or environment of negative energy, to generate wisdom and clarity, and to promote healing.
Benefits of burning sage are believed to include:
- Removing bacteria from the air.
- Repelling insects.
- Improving intuition.
- Purifying specific objects.
- Improving mood and reducing stress and anxiety.
My sage ritual includes an overfull glass of Chardonnay on the rocker on the front porch, after sunset, by myself. No one is allowed to come out to talk to me, ask me for anything, or to show me the new game level they are on. I make myself comfortable, take a sip, and light up that bad boy. The aroma from dried herbs is so beautiful and calming. Since there is really nothing to look at, I close my eyes and do my version of meditation and prayer. I literally have conversations with myself, God, the Universe, and every now and then the dog. Do not underestimate the cleansing power this 45 minutes to an hour can have! I feel so much lighter, I feel like I have let a load off my chest and energized. Sometimes I break down and cry, sometimes I scroll social media, but I am making that effort to purify my mind, my space, and release negative vibes. For some reason, this just works.
Other ways to practice self-care is to indulge in a full service, at home bath/spa time. Take yourself to breakfast or brunch to eat where you want and what you want. No kids menus needed. Take a walk, read a good book, take a nap, make love, eat the cake, wear the makeup, dress up to go to Target, shave your legs, meet the girls for sushi, go to a matinee movie and watch a rated R film, take a selfie - for yourself, walk barefoot in the grass, take a hot shower and lather up with your absolute favorite body serum and lay naked on freshly dried sheets.
You get the idea. Do what feels good to you. Fill your mind with beautiful sights and sounds. Fill your soul with positivity, light and love. Fill your body with good things.
Most importantly, make this practice a habit. A habit that you do not apologize for. A habit that we teach our kids, especially our daughters at an early age. Self-care and self-love are vital and necessary for us to be successful, to be an awesome human being, to deal with all the things that life throws at us (i.e, global pandemics).
Self-care does not have a time constraint, either. For some it could be a really profound 15 minutes, others might be a full day. Don’t time it, just do it. Be intentional about it. Make it an appointment on your calendar that is non-negotiable.
Be warned - the side effects may include, but not limited to happiness, relaxation, clarity, and possibly even energy to increase your productivity. A woman who practices self-care is not as easy to anger, more patient, open to receive good things, and also blesses those around her because she is a better version of herself.
Find what fills you and do it often and with self-love.
